Musicals Aren’t For Everyone, It Seems

“A woodsman’s daughter with a simple life, a happy family ‘til he lost his wife,” Gretel sang in a trembling soprano. She was surprisingly on-key for someone so unpleasant.

Hansel was resigned to listening to the whole thing, which would probably take at least seven or eight minutes. Once Gretel got going, she was hard to stop. He did walk a few paces away to avoid being sucked into the chorus and heard another sound. An inharmonious sound. It sounded like growling, but much, much larger.

Gretel was winding herself up to launch into the meat of her song, which seemed to be an improvised lament about being abandoned in the woods and losing a ham. It was okay, except for the one line refrain, “…and Hansel was no help at all.”

Hansel heard the basso growl again, closer, and realized it was coming…