SWIT! — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, Listen Here: “Alan? Are you listening to me or shall I hit you over the head with that ladle? Put down your banana and look at this!” Loretta demanded. Alan didn’t answer. Alan was up to his elbows in banana bread batter when the zombies converged. When Alan did look up to see what […]

via SWIT! — Story McStoryface

The Going Rate — Story McStoryface

Reading by Ear: “What’s the matter with you today, somebody leave a turd under your pillow or something?” Fay plopped the bag of teeth on the counter and started boiling water to clean them. Mike was sitting at the kitchen table, looking sourly at the bowl of Grape-Nuts in front of him. “I just don’t […]

via The Going Rate — Story McStoryface

Piggies: Part Three — Story McStoryface

Part One on Audio: Part Two on Audio: Audiophiles, Here’s Part Three: “Stop! St. Anthony Police Department! Put your hands up, Ms. Jackson!” Hannah heard the female police officer behind her and gasped out a loud, defeated sound. Her foot was bleeding badly, clearly one or more of the stitches had broken open, and she […]

via Piggies: Part Three — Story McStoryface

Piggies: Part Two — Story McStoryface

Forgot what we were talking about? Here’s Part One Audio: And…here’s Part Two Audio: Yolanda Ash was on edge when she showed up for her shift, and the news that a human toe was in evidence didn’t calm her down. The preschool was making noises about having Michael “evaluated” to “find the right level of […]

via Piggies: Part Two — Story McStoryface

Piggies: Part One — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, click here to listen: “This little piggy went to market.” “This little piggy stayed home.” “This little piggy had roast beef.” “This little piggy had none.” “This little piggy went wee-wee-wee all the way home.” “And this little piggy went…away.” Hannah brought the hatchet down sharply, her aim steady despite the heavy load of […]

via Piggies: Part One — Story McStoryface

Feast of All Souls — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, Listen Here: “Gimme a large caramel iced mocha with seven pumps of syrup and extra whip.” The man was a few feet away at the counter, but his large body crowded the space. “Throw in two of those scones, too, the blueberry ones.” His face was puffy where it wasn’t covered in hair, everything […]

via Feast of All Souls — Story McStoryface

Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part Three) — Story McStoryface

Start here if you’re new to Mitsy: Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part One) Then here: Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part Two) Audiophiles, here’s Part Three audio for your listening pleasure: “We’re okay, we’re okay,” Mitsy tried to say, but it came out “whee kay” with the shotgun pressed under her chin. Link was staring at her, panting […]

via Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part Three) — Story McStoryface

Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part Two) — Story McStoryface

Part One (which you’ll want to hit first if you missed it): Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part One) Audiophiles, listen here: Mitsy blinked rapidly at the man. She’d been in hostile negotiations before, but over carpet allowances and alleged foundation cracks, not “what” she was. Be direct but unthreatening, her training told her. “My name is […]

via Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part Two) — Story McStoryface

Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part One) — Story McStoryface

Listen Here: Why people wanted to live out in the woods was a mystery to Mitsy McDonnell. She made good money selling remote homes to people who thought they wanted to ditch civilization. Later, she made even better money reselling those homes when they realized an hour to get to the grocery store was about […]

via Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part One) — Story McStoryface

Permanent Solution

Story McStoryface

Audio Here, Text Below:

The front door opened with a bang. Stewart cursed softly. No one was supposed to come in that way. He didn’t have a sign out to say that, but his business was supposed to be low profile. Not breezing through the front door where anyone could see from the street.

He hurried to the front of his small house to intercept the client who hadn’t played by the rules, tucking a black shirt into black jeans. Liza was on his living room sofa, lighting up a cigarette and looking for the ashtray that hadn’t been offered in polite society for 30 years.

“Liza—” Stewart had to handle this carefully, but he couldn’t just let her violate him this way.

“Yes, get me an ashtray, would you? I’ve been thinking really hard, and I need this.”

“But Liza—”

“Just get me a bowl, or a glass, anything…

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