Running the 503: A Journey in Pictures

I documented a little bit of what it’s like to kick it in my hood today.  Come along with me.

Hey, look! The rain is slacking off! Where are my shoes?

Hey, look! The rain is slacking off! Where are my shoes?

Road Conditions: Dry. Yup, if all that water's in the ditch, there isn't any left to sog up the road.

Road Conditions: Dry. Yup, if all that water’s in the ditch, there isn’t any left to sog up the road.

There goes *that* route. It was a 10 foot wide bike path before the blackberries started in last week.

There goes *that* route. It was a 10 foot wide bike path before the blackberries started in last week.

I had to ford this mighty stream just like my homesteading ancestors.

I had to ford this mighty stream just like my homesteading ancestors.

In the distance, you can see the house where the aviation magnate slowly descended into madness and bankruptcy. It's available!

In the distance, you can see the house where the aviation magnate slowly descended into madness and bankruptcy. It’s available!

The water skiers must be making a late start today.

The water skiers must be making a late start today.

Yay! Oregon hopscotch!

Yay! Oregon hopscotch!

I nearly lost the oxen in this one, but some quick thinking by Pa kept the wagon dry.

I nearly lost the oxen in this one, but some quick thinking by Pa kept the wagon dry.

This will be dry enough to mow by August 2016.

This should be dry enough to mow by August 2016.

And....I'm done for today. All the way done. I'm going to get on my makeshift scooter and insist that the kids push me around for the rest of the day.

And….I’m done for today. All the way done. I’m going to get on my makeshift scooter and insist that the kids push me around for the rest of the day.

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My Garmin and Me, We Like to Lean on a Tree

Garmin: Uhhhh….oh.  *yawn*  Hey.  Is it Spring?

Me:  No, I’m just going for a run.

Garmin:  Yeah, well, it’s been a while.

Me:  I know.  I was sick.

Garmin:  Oh.  Okaaaaay.  You were sick since the end of November.

Me:  Yes, just find your satellites, please.

Garmin: Locating, locating, locating.  You want me to find an extra one?  Just in case.

Me:  No.  C’mon, I haven’t got all day.

Garmin:  00:00

Me:  *timer start*

. . . . . .

Garmin:  Are we still warming up?

Me:  No, I’m running.  This is running today.

Garmin:  Well, not everyone comes back from Ebola, I guess.

Me:  What?  I didn’t have Ebola.  What made you think I had Ebola?

Garmin:  Anthrax?  Bird flu?  Oh my god, did you have bubonic plague????

Me:  WHAT?  No!  I had viruses.  Several viruses.

Garmin:  Oh.  I mean, I was just looking at the pace, and I assumed… well.  How many viruses?

Me:  A lot of viruses.

. . . . .

Garmin:  Why’d you stop?

Me:  Somebody ran over a flute.  It’s all smashed by the side of the road.

Garmin, in a high-pitched and terrible English accent:  And the piper shall pipe no moooore, for his weightily wielded instrument of pleasure has been weightily welded into the pavement.

Me:  Stop, that’s terrible.  Who told you to be English?

Garmin: *beeps mirthfully*

Garmin, back to normal:  Are you sure you weren’t just winded?  Here on the wood-winding road?

Me: Really.  Stop.

. . . . .

Garmin:  OH, I LOVE this song.  Let’s run faster!

Me: *skip song*

. . . . .

Me: *timer stop*

Me: *blowing like a calving heifer*

Garmin:  Ok, let’s see.  That’s 2.4 miles…let me check the pace…in…um….in….YAY WE WENT RUNNING!

Me:  Wisely said.

Garmin:  So that half-marathon was really a one-and-done, then?

Me: Yup.

Garmin:  See you Monday?

Me:  See you Monday.

. . . . .

There's a psychotic filbert grower carrying a bag of nuts behind you.  Now RUN!

There’s a psychotic filbert grower carrying a bag of nuts behind you. Now RUN!