Expressing unimportant thoughts concisely
you need chocolate
and a flatbed-sized cracker
it’s smores for a herd
I opened that picture in Photoshop, all prepared to edit and crop it, but I decided I liked it best how it is. Either it’s very late in August, or it’s very late in the evening (it’s both). These hay bales always look like giant marshmallows to me, and I’ve even tried to convince my kids that’s what they are. My kids get a sort of … whimsical window on the world from me. Teaching them to think for themselves, I am.
the rainbows enchant
glittering petroleum
sea, how far we reach
Here we are, on our annual beach camping trip, and it’s raining pretty hard for the first time in the kids’ short camping lives. The dog already smells like three-day-old crab and we’ve been here for HOURS. I am having a great time (really), I live for this rainy coast. After the hottest summer ever in Portland, it’s a welcome relief.
Ps. Can we just agree not to mention yesterday? Yesterday was a very long day. Thanks.
rejection notice
just put it with the others
death by paper cuts
This is a fact of life if you’re submitting your work, especially at the beginning of the process. Knowing that intellectually and dealing with it emotionally are two different things. I have one rejection letter in my purse I keep forgetting about–clearly that one isn’t bothering me. The one I received this week, I had higher hopes for.
Here’s the thing–the story has to get to the right person, at a time when they have an opening for it, on a day when they’re receptive to it. That’s a lot of variables. There are two ways to increase your odds–improve your work, and submit it often. Tonight I’ll have a bourbon or two over the notice from this week, grieve just a tiny bit for something I wanted and didn’t get. Next week, I’ll get back to work.
my shoulders are oak
your hands chop and vandalize
the axe in relax
That’s an actual model of my muscles, before, during, and after a massage. I have suffered through them a couple of times, and I won’t be doing it again. For people who are relaxation-challenged, it does not make us more relaxed. It makes us in pain, and afraid to say so because clearly, we are the ones doing it wrong.
I would be much better served by an evening in a bar with loud music, good bourbon, and a little howling at the moon.
I folded laundry
for ten straight hours—my hands ache
no poem for you
One of the things I try to do before school starts every year is tackle the mountain of clean laundry that accumulates during the summer. Mt. Clothesmore was especially challenging this year. I am down to about half a basket of things with no homes and the socks. I’m sure I’ll get to that tomorrow.
We also had some minor excitement today when some bark dust caught on fire for miscellaneous reasons that have been identified and will not happen again. Overall, this day gets approximately a 5.32 out of 10.
what the fuck is this
velociraptor signage
to headless park host?
I normally love the quirky things you find in rural communities, but this is in a town called Lafayette, which is one of the creepiest places I have the pleasure of driving through. It’s rumored to be truly haunted, but naming your RV park “Sleepy Hollow” ain’t helping. “Ichabod will be around later to see if you need some firewood.” Nope.
poor future suitor
just try to live up to this
prior engagement
Seven and I crafted this gorgeous cocktail ring from a kit. She is very pleased with it, and informed me that if any boy tries to marry her, she can tell them she’s already engaged. Or…just no? That works, too.
there is no “problem”
just because I like to use
coffee as creamer
There was a period in my life where quad lattes and the occasional use of bottled Starbucks drinks as creamer was normal. I had a stressful job and I fueled my insane workload with more coffee than was really healthy for one person to consume. It was my own little corner of fatalism–I will do this job or have a caffeine-induced heart attack trying.
Now I drink about 3-4 cups of brewed coffee a day. That’s…less? Yay me? I would quit (I have several times, including two pregnancies), but I still have shit to do in this life and coffee is how I do it. Coffee makes my world go ’round. Sometimes a little spinny, sure, but still.
high in Montana
bearware the ursine menace
claws, fangs, frosty floats
We went to Glacier and honestly saw very little of it, because of the massively swollen ankle and our lack of an appropriately-sized vehicle. The kids were delighted to see this bear, however, because instead of eating them, he gave them things to eat. A+, A & W bear.
There’s a party in your nose
And all your fingers are invited.
Show your mom your goody bag,
She’s sure to be delighted.
The dance floor’s kinda small,
But you can twist and grind.
Tear it up and lay it down,
No boogie left behind.
Tissue box across the room?
There’s storage even closer.
Your mouth is right below your nose
And bonus—even grosser!
So cram that finger way up in
Until it disappears.
When that party’s petered out,
It’s time to hit your ears!
I found this classy picture on the iPad and it inspired me to heights of verse. I’m pleased to add some culture to your Sunday.
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY 