Part One (which you’ll want to hit first if you missed it): Mitsy Bats Her Lashes (Part One) Audiophiles, listen here: Mitsy blinked rapidly at the man. She’d been in hostile negotiations before, but over carpet allowances and alleged foundation cracks, not “what” she was. Be direct but unthreatening, her training told her. “My name is […]
Listen Here: Why people wanted to live out in the woods was a mystery to Mitsy McDonnell. She made good money selling remote homes to people who thought they wanted to ditch civilization. Later, she made even better money reselling those homes when they realized an hour to get to the grocery store was about […]
Audio Here, Text Below:
The front door opened with a bang. Stewart cursed softly. No one was supposed to come in that way. He didn’t have a sign out to say that, but his business was supposed to be low profile. Not breezing through the front door where anyone could see from the street.
He hurried to the front of his small house to intercept the client who hadn’t played by the rules, tucking a black shirt into black jeans. Liza was on his living room sofa, lighting up a cigarette and looking for the ashtray that hadn’t been offered in polite society for 30 years.
“Liza—” Stewart had to handle this carefully, but he couldn’t just let her violate him this way.
“Yes, get me an ashtray, would you? I’ve been thinking really hard, and I need this.”
“Just get me a bowl, or a glass, anything…
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Audiophiles, Listen Here: The target’s name was Sheila Hamspelter, codename “SHELIA.” We let Brian come up with the codename, and you get what you get with Brian. My plan for infiltration was simple. We would ride in on flowers and disperse from there, achieving maximum coverage over several days. Brian fell on his flat face […]
Audiophiles, Listen Here: Everyone sat stiffly in their seats, facing the fully open coffin and large portrait wreathed by pink lilies at the front of the church. Nothing would start without her, and the pianist was on the fourth round of the first song, dragging a little more each time until the tune itself seemed […]
Rejoice, Audiophiles! Listen here: I was trying to change the world in my own small way. When I say that, I’m not being modest. I was trying to change the world with my patented nano-exploration technology. It’s small, and I own it. I do love precision. The ocean floor trip wasn’t my idea. The spaceheads […]
Welcome to Story McStoryface! This is an online story project for 2019–a story project YOU can be part of. About twice a month, I will publish a short story on the project’s website, https://storymcstoryface.com/. These stories will be (for the most part) based on requests from readers! Nothing is too outlandish or weird, but no porn or fanfiction, please. Check out the “How It Works” page for more info if you’re into that sort of thing.
My work tends toward dark comedy and speculative horror, so if you ask for butterflies and rainbows, don’t be mad when the rainbows are radioactive and the butterflies turn into vampires.
While all of the stories will be available in electronic text, I plan to record most on audio as well for the reading with your ears crowd. I’m excited to get this started! The first story, a sci-fi about a sea cucumber I…
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Welcome to the new folks that have followed since the summer–it’s always a nice feeling to get that e-mail! I’ve been heads-down, writing the second Tiny Giants novel and working on my horror stories. In the meantime, the talented Steve Ogden of Steve Ogden Art has been recording this amazing version of the first in the Tiny Giants series, “The Tiny Giant,” for those who prefer to listen to their books. (It’ll be nice to have a new book out with a different name so I’m not repeating “Tiny Giant” so much.) It’s a stellar performance from a talented voice actor–a true joy to listen to.
“The Tiny Giant” is now available from Amazon, Audible, iTunes, Barnes and Noble, and for wholesale orders, Ingram. Amazon has print, e-book, and audiobook options. You can read it for free with Kindle Unlimited as well. I also have a number of signed copies available at http://www.littlevoicespublishing.com for $12.99 + shipping. In short, however you want it, I got it. It’s a fun fantasy read for middle-graders and up, and a bit over four hours for a quick, engaging listen. For more about the book, go here: Published: The Tiny Giant
This was a long process with a steep learning curve. Listening to your own book three or four times will make you wish you could change a few little things, a terrible impulse that must be avoided–it’s done. Don’t tinker. More than once, I went back to my text to make sure I actually wrote it that way, and I sure did. BUT, those were small things. Overall, I’m really proud of this book. And I’m really sick of it. But mostly proud.
The exciting thing right now is being halfway through Book 2! I’m at that magical point when you’re not sure that your outline still works, you have a better idea for Chapter One that impacts the rest of the book, and it’s time to sit down and re-outline that sucker to avoid meandering into an ending that may or may not work. I don’t find this frustrating. It’s an opportunity to make things better before the first revision, a much more painful time to do it. Okay, yes, I’m using “opportunity” when we all know it’s sort of painful now, but let me have my optimism.
I hope you’ll check out “The Tiny Giant.” I’ve had high marks from kids and adults alike, and if you like fantasy set in the real world, I think you’ll like this. Now I need to get back to work…here’s to a productive and magical year for all of you! Cheers!
PS. I am launching a new project this year to get stories in the hands of readers–updates here shortly and first story by about January 15 (yes, I already wrote it.) More on that soon.
PPS. My horror collection (working title “Bitches and Dead People”) is going along as well. It turns out, working through short stories with an editor can be like working on 12 different books. Each one is its own different animal, a terrible, twisty animal that bites you when you try to show off how well-trained it is.
“I’m done with this, Mom.”
Well, I am definitely NOT.
This tiny George will stay
On my shelf’s specialest spot.
Clutched in your chubby hand,
He went everywhere that year.
He convinced you to speak monkey
Until the doctor checked your ears.
He was lost and found and lost,
But we never left him behind.
I searched the zoo for a monkey
That was not so easy to find.
He dug dirt with his head,
Stomped dinos with his feet.
He sat at the dinner table
And pretended to loudly eat.
He led armies of animals at war
Across the old orange carpet,
Until the opposing General Giraffe
Fell down the counter escarpment.
He watched himself with you
On those days your nose was runny.
He never failed to laugh at himself.
He was oo-oo-ah-aah funny.
You haven’t carried him for years.
You’d much rather have a phone.
But I will carry the you that did
Here in George’s forever home.
When my son was two, he was in the habit of carrying a plastic animal or two everywhere he went. He was also a huge Curious George fan–so much so that he spoke a mixture of Monkey and English for a long time. His doctor told me that we really needed to encourage English, and I countered that bi-lingualism was all the rage. This little guy was a cake topper I found on Amazon. He’s seen some things, man, but since he only speaks Monkey, we’ll never know.
The things that adventured with your kids have special places, just like their friends steal pieces of your heart later. This little time capsule sits on a shelf where I can see him while I work. The kids may be on to the things that they should be, like ditching mom and dad to hang out at the camp park, or cutting holes in skirts to make “dresses” that are two inches below her navel, but George is happy to remind me of a time when I could sit with a child on my lap and watch a monkey get into shenanigans. Ooo ooo, ah ooo ah AH.
Ps. This is the last day of August! Thanks for hanging out for the poems, some were less bad than others. I really have to get to work on final revisions to my short story compilation, Bitches and Dead People, and I’m six chapters into the sequel to The Tiny Giant, working title “The Hunted Giant.” I’ll continue to update here on any book releases and if the mood strikes me…I might have another poem in me someday. This year was hard, and given that I’ve done this 92 times, I’m going to be satisfied with that for a bit. Probably until next August, when I’ve forgotten how much work it is and convince myself that it’ll be “fun.”
you need chocolate
and a flatbed-sized cracker
it’s smores for a herd
I opened that picture in Photoshop, all prepared to edit and crop it, but I decided I liked it best how it is. Either it’s very late in August, or it’s very late in the evening (it’s both). These hay bales always look like giant marshmallows to me, and I’ve even tried to convince my kids that’s what they are. My kids get a sort of … whimsical window on the world from me. Teaching them to think for themselves, I am.