It’s a shame that pirates
Get parrots by defaulty.
I would get a little dog
And name him Mr. Salty.

He could distract the targets
By asking them for scritches,
While I most efficiently
Relieved them of their riches.

With my Salty sea dog
The plank I’d never walk.
A dog can bring you jail keys.
All a parrot does is squawk.

I confess, all of that was because I thought it would be funny to name a dog “Salty.” I think of a lot of these things as I’m falling asleep, and I text them to myself. If the guys in black suits ever look at what I’ve been saying to myself, they’ll either make me a very high priority or decide I’m not any kind of threat at all. Arrr.

I’m also pleased to present this example of why I don’t do my own illustrations. Ta Da.