Hansel and Grendel, Chapter One

Chapter One!

Story McStoryface

Hansel and Gretel Are Dumped Like Unwanted Kittens

“Dad, where are you going?” Mr. Woodsman didn’t answer, so the two kids turned up the volume. “DAD! Wait for us!” The two youngsters, a tween girl and a boy of around nine, started after their father. Maybe he’d changed his mind about the day of picnicking he’d drug them into the middle of the woods for. “We’ll stop bickering, we promise!” yelled the boy, Hansel, though it was a promise many times broken.

“I’ll stop whining about the walking!” yelled Gretel, a rotund blonde girl who was unlikely to grow into anything but a circle because of her love of cakes and pies. She hated any kind of exercise, and a day of hiking in the boring, stupid woods hadn’t interested her in the least until her stepmother, Hellen, handed her a large basket of food which she insisted on carrying…

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Guess I Better Make Those Hosting Fees Worth It

Another project starting at Story McStoryface!

Story McStoryface

I just renewed the hosting for Story McStoryface, and I’m happy to say I have a project for 2021 to make it less like throwing money in hole and lighting it on fire.

2020 was a desert for me, creatively, primarily because I have elementary-aged kids and all my time and energy was used for school and shoring up everyone’s crumbling mental health. We’re definitely not on the other side of that, but I am able to work a little bit. I have a huge backlog of serious writing to complete, but I can’t right now. Instead, I’ve rediscovered an old idea (always write those down, you won’t just “remember,” especially at 47 while the world is on fire), and I think this silly bullshit is just what I need at the moment. Do you need it? *shrug* I have no idea.

One of the things I enjoyed about the…

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You Better Watch Your Elf — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, Listen Here: Gerard opened the flimsy envelope as soon as he got back to his desk, like everyone at Numo Corp. Inside, he found a glittery, unsigned “Happy Holidays” card and a gift card for $25 at the grocery store. Fourteen years at this place, chasing pennies on doll production costs until his eyes […]

via You Better Watch Your Elf — Story McStoryface

******* Show — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, Listen Here: “Can’t I just give you my name?” “No, sir, I am not legally allowed to ask for your name. Please provide your LifeSecure User ID.” The girl with the short black hair behind the counter couldn’t have been over 20 years old, and Paul guessed she probably didn’t remember anything before LifeSecure, […]

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SWIT! — Story McStoryface

Audiophiles, Listen Here: “Alan? Are you listening to me or shall I hit you over the head with that ladle? Put down your banana and look at this!” Loretta demanded. Alan didn’t answer. Alan was up to his elbows in banana bread batter when the zombies converged. When Alan did look up to see what […]

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The Going Rate — Story McStoryface

Reading by Ear: “What’s the matter with you today, somebody leave a turd under your pillow or something?” Fay plopped the bag of teeth on the counter and started boiling water to clean them. Mike was sitting at the kitchen table, looking sourly at the bowl of Grape-Nuts in front of him. “I just don’t […]

via The Going Rate — Story McStoryface

Piggies: Part Three — Story McStoryface

Part One on Audio: Part Two on Audio: Audiophiles, Here’s Part Three: “Stop! St. Anthony Police Department! Put your hands up, Ms. Jackson!” Hannah heard the female police officer behind her and gasped out a loud, defeated sound. Her foot was bleeding badly, clearly one or more of the stitches had broken open, and she […]

via Piggies: Part Three — Story McStoryface

Piggies: Part Two — Story McStoryface

Forgot what we were talking about? Here’s Part One Audio: And…here’s Part Two Audio: Yolanda Ash was on edge when she showed up for her shift, and the news that a human toe was in evidence didn’t calm her down. The preschool was making noises about having Michael “evaluated” to “find the right level of […]

via Piggies: Part Two — Story McStoryface