My undercarriage is almost the last thing
That stupid squirrel ever saw.
He ran from one side to the other.
His plan should be called “Fatal Flaw.”

My car passed right over his eartips.
No THUD ka-THUMP THUMP was heard.
Must have been like Independence Day,
But deafening and all in a blur.

I saw him go on in my rearview,
Back to his friends in the ditch.
I swear I heard another one say…
“Here, hold my nut and watch this!”

Note: Squirrels, man. I grew up in a rural place, and I know the roadkill rules. If it’s the size of a squirrel, and on a highway, you don’t do anything drastic to avoid it. Swerving to avoid it is more likely to cause you to lose control of your vehicle than avoid the damn thing anyway. I jogged the car over a few inches and Stupid Squirrel must have hunkered down. It’s not worth it, Stupid Squirrel. Don’t do stuff like that to impress the other squirrels. They will not remember it tomorrow, and if you are flat, they won’t remember YOU tomorrow. Go taunt a dog or something.

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