Summernatural

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I’m spending this summer’s TV time on Winchesters,
Because most of my friends are hardcore investors.

Season One left me, frankly, shaking my head.
How are these Duke clones not already dead?

I don’t like Impalas, and neither is my “type,”
The things that they hunt are all bogans and snipe.

I mostly wanted them to STOP WITH THE TALKING.
Get on with the hunting and beheading and stalking.

Season Two was slightly better, less earnestly bad.
Eventually they got over their issues with Dad.

By Season Five, I admit I was hooked.
This show’s better than it initially looked.

It turns out, they needed to poke fun at themselves
While salting and burning the goblins and elves.

Plus wondrous Heaven opened, and deposited Cass.
God’s agenda gave the show quite a kick in the ass.

Ambiguous angel, can we trust him or not?
I’m still not sure, with how far I’ve got.

Sam and Dean are a co-dependent mess,
But I like them both and hope for the best.

They can’t get out of their own way, painfully so.
But their charming flaws are the heart of the show.

I’ve been to Hell and back twice, at the halfway point,
I expect to go again, before we blow this joint.

It’s preposterous fun, all wrapped in the boys,
With a side of humanity under the noise.

When the writing is suspect or the plot gets thin,
I excuse it ’til the good stuff starts up again.

Am I Superfan Becky? Don’t be an idjit.
I ain’t seen every little thing they did yet.

 


I’m watching Supernatural for the first time, and it’s grown on me a lot.  The lesson there, in some ways, is that fans will excuse a few less than good episodes if you get the big thing right–main characters you care about and want to see succeed.  Bonus points if you read it out loud in your best Bobby Singer.

As for the children in the picture, there’s a month left before school starts and I’ll leave it to you to decide who the salt is protecting.

Suburban Legend

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don’t dip your toes there–
might not have toes if you do
‘ware the rockadile


I went for a very short walk in the woods where I’ve set The Tiny Giant, and I found this guy in the little stream, painted eye and all.  I stub my toe on some kind of magic every time I come down here.

That, or someone threw their pet alligator in the outhouse a very long time ago.

Beach Body

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The tide goes in, the tide goes out,
The tide goes up and in your snout.

The air was there, but now it’s not,
The tide macramés strands of snot.

Again it’s in, then out the breach,
Behind it leaves a little beach.

You’re found aground, tide receded,
The nose now knows–you’re deceded.


This seabird appears to have slipped on a banana peel and DIED.  Life is not a cartoon.  Please pick up your fruit skins.

The first couplet is an homage to the old classic nursery rhyme, “The worms go in, the worms go out…” etc…  That’s one that’ll stay with you for life.

The Usurer’s Apprentice

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magical kingdom
spellbound, I don’t notice when…
poof! cash disappears

 Disneyland was the best vacation we’ve ever had, period.  It’s also where the reality of how much things cost sort of goes all wibbley-wobbley.  It’s time to go home when you find yourself in a tub of ice with a phone taped to your hand, sans the kidney you traded for a balloon that was, let’s face it, a really, really awesome balloon, but probably not worth a kidney.

The Life Changing Magic of 1,723 Plushes

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I’ve heard that tidying up
Creates some sort of magical joy.
That memo got lost in transit
To my soft-hearted medium boy.

The pile of stuffed pups alone
Would give the famous tidier fits.
But Mrs. Dog is here to stay
And so are her 99 kids.

They all have names and jobs,
Some hounds are secretly super.
The dust they put out when handled
Would leave Superman in a stupor.

This pile of friends doesn’t light up my life
When I’m stacking them on the bed.
I think I should just hug medium boy.
My joy seems to live there instead.


Everyone is on the tidying train it seems.  I did it to my sock drawer.  My sock drawer is pretty fabulous, I admit.  This magical tidying does not affect any of the other creatures that I live with, however.  It must be a very short range spell.

Multitoydinous

IMG_2520many pieced trip hazard
very educational
I’ve learned I hate you

Note: A lot of people badmouth LEGO. I don’t mind LEGO, because I have special sandals I wear in the house that give me +20 to impervious feet. These things, however, are a huge pain in ass.

It’s Bad Poem-a-Day August! I bet you thought I’d forgotten all about it, and you’d be right! At 11PM last night, I remembered that I had a solemn commitment to provide bad poetry for 31 days, so I wrote one right quick. This approach works well for me, we’ll see how it works for you.

I Was Unaware It Was Uniwear

it’s following me
what IS that funky ass smell?
oh, it’s my own head

Note: I did not get away with wearing my hat “one more time.”  Not even a little bit.

Disminifigured

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here’s a fun idea!
but kids refuse to eat this
death by chocolate

Note: I could catalog everything I did wrong to get to this result, but that would take a while.  Silver lining?  The next time I have an festive occasion calling for a decapitated victim of a tar and feathering interrupted, I know exactly what to do.

Published: Sally the Sad Shape

Sally the Sad Shape is available!  I’m very proud to launch this little book, the first in the Moodrangles series, books about big emotions for smallish people.  Sally is a little shape in a very sad mood, and she tries everything to change it.  It isn’t until she makes a new friend that she learns to see her mood in a different light.  I wrote this book to let preschool and elementary aged children know that being sad is something that we all go through, and not something that they have to “fix.”  The charming illustrations by Steve Ogden Art and use of humor make it an entertaining read for kids and adults.  Available right now at Amazon or autographed through the Little Voices Publishing website.

Writery Stuff:  I’ve learned an enormous amount about self-publishing by launching this little book.  I haven’t found the downside yet.  I’ll let you know if I do.

Waiting Is Boring, I Think I’ll Start a Business: Little Voices Publishing

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Unsurprisingly, sending queries to agents is a long, drawn out process.  First, the agents you find in your genre have to be accepting queries and submissions.  You find the magic window, and send whatever combo platter that particular agent is looking for–one wants a #3, the next just wants a letter a la carte, the next wants the whole thing translated into Esperanto.  Then….you wait.  If you’re doing it according to industry guidelines, you don’t have it out to 100 agents at once, just a handful.  You get those responses or wait for a reasonable amount of time…and then you send some more.

The Tiny Giant hasn’t been out to many people so far, and I’ll let that run its course.  You have to.  Traditional publishing is still the best scenario–they have resources, you have ideas, they can help you get the best version of your ideas to the most people.

That doesn’t mean I sit around waiting for six months, though.  In the event that I don’t connect with just the right agent at the right time for magic to commence, I’ll pay a professional editor and self-publish The Tiny Giant under my brand spanking new publishing imprint: Little Voices Publishing.  Self-publishing is in many ways indistinguishable to the consumer now–you can set it up on Amazon, it can be an e-book, it’s print-on-demand and shipped directly with their free Prime shipping.  The days of buying 100 copies from Vanity Press® and trying to hawk them at the Grange Hall are behind us.  If you build your small business, and someone wants to come buy you out later…well, that’s fine too.

The cost of having this little business is not small.  I have applied for all of the licenses and permits, and I’ll have a pile of additional paperwork to do at the end of the year.  I’m still up in the air with City Hall about an environmental impact study they said I had to do if I wanted a business license.  I think City Hall is going to rule that I don’t need a business license at all, since I don’t really produce anything.  (I would be insulted, but that’s the easiest option and saves me $45.)  Then there’s the time involved.  There’s a website (http://www.littlevoicespublishing.com) and a Facebook page I’m building and updating.  I might even get some ding-dang paper business cards done.  None of this is writing stories–it is a J-O-B.

All of that infrastructure is nearly ready.  Then I’ll just let it sit there and…..ha ha ha, no, I won’t.  That would be fine if I had no other ideas, but lack of ideas has never been my issue.  In March, Little Voices Publishing will launch the first book in the Moodrangles series, Sally the Sad Shape.  This pause…it’s an opportunity, and I would be a fool not to use it.  Written by me and illustrated by Steve Ogden (Magnificatz), Sally the Sad Shape is a charming story about a mood that we all experience.  The Moodrangles series intends to honor the complex emotional lives of children with humor and empathy.  I’ll update here with more details when it’s available.  Until then…I have some more website stuff to put up, and those business cards to design, and copy to write for the Amazon page, and, and, and.  It’s real, it’s fun, and it’s turning out to be really fun.

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